Prequel to Night After the Female Titan
by aych13
Summary: I "officially" ship Eruri, but still picture Levi and Hange having a really intimate (platonic) relationship...this is an interaction that takes place right after the Scouts return to HQ after the failed female titan mission.


_Even though I "officially" ship Eruri, I still picture Levi and Hange having a really intimate, loving relationship with each other. After I wrote the other Female Titan fanfic, I got the idea for this one as a (I think) cute Levihan-ish interaction between Hange and Levi that takes place right when the Scouts get back to HQ._

After enduring their "walk of shame" that had seemed to take every bit as much time as the entire trek back to the wall, the Scouts arrived at headquarters. Zoe Hange had been watching both Erwin and Levi closely on the way back, as it seemed that the two of them always received the brunt of the criticism after failed missions like the one today. True to form, insults had been hurled at Erwin from every direction, but it was Levi that really shattered Zoe's heart. Petra Ral's father had all but accosted him, embarking on a seemingly endless, upbeat, nearly manic monologue about Petra's love for and devotion to Levi. Hange had been riding right behind Levi, and her heart positively sunk into the ground as she couldn't help but overhear the encounter. Even from behind, she had seen Levi's shoulders stiffen; the fact that he had not even turned his head toward Petra's father as he talked told Zoe that Levi had just gone completely into shock. Word had already made it through the grapevine that Levi's entire squad had been killed; after Erwin had ordered Levi to refuel and restock his blades, Levi had proceeded into the forest alone, and had found them all dead.

Levi disappeared nearly the instant they arrived back at headquarters. Seeing Zoe as they tethered their horses, Erwin beckoned her over. His face looked worried, and he kept his voice low. "Zoe, please go find Levi and have him come to my office as soon as he can. I need to go meet the capital representatives right now or else I'll likely be arrested the first chance they get, but I know Levi isn't okay. Please find him."

Zoe nodded and knitted her forehead, giving Erwin's arm a reassuring squeeze. "I was actually thinking that exact same thing. I will, try not to worry. I'll take care of him until he can be with you."

Erwin gave her a weary, grateful smile. "Thank you," he said quietly. Letting out his breath, he squared his shoulders and walked toward HQ and the waiting government authorities.

Zoe hurriedly finished tying up her horse and Erwin's, then walked quickly toward HQ herself, trying to think where Levi might have gone. She knew him well enough to understand his thought processes, so she tried to calm herself enough to get inside his head so she could find him more quickly. If he was trying to hide, chances were he wouldn't head to his room…suddenly an idea occurred to her, and she dashed off toward the training course. There were a set of showers out there that weren't being used right now, and it would be the perfect place for him to clean off without anyone finding him. Even though she knew he was trying to be alone, Zoe also knew that Levi tended to hold himself together **during** the crisis, then crumble afterward, and with his history of self-harm, she fully agreed with Erwin that Levi needed someone with him right now.

Finally arriving at the shower house, Zoe quietly entered so as not to alert him to her presence if he was contemplating doing anything desperate; she didn't want him to know she was there until she could actually see him and intervene if necessary. Pausing right inside the door, she listened carefully; sure enough, she could hear running water and another sound she couldn't identify coming from one of the furthest stalls back. She quietly headed down the narrow, dimly lit aisle.

Peering into the shower stall, her heart broke. Levi was there. His clothes and gear were piled haphazardly on the bench right next to the shower, and he was crumpled up on the floor of the stall, the water pouring over him and mixing with the tears flooding down his face. Even in the dim light, Zoe could see that he had scrubbed his skin completely raw; both his legs, his stomach, and his chest were bright red, and his arms were actually bleeding. The sound she hadn't been able to identify became clear: Levi was positively convulsing with sobs as he leaned over the drain and threw up over and over. Even as he vomited, he continued to scrub his body as though trying to peel his skin all the way off.

Her heart positively aching for him, Zoe reached into the shower and turned off the water. Startled, Levi jumped slightly and looked up over his shoulder. "Relax, sweetheart, it's just me," Zoe said quietly. She quietly took her jacket and cloak off and placed them on the bench next to Levi's stuff; she wanted to avoid contributing to Levi's cleanliness OCD if she could, and her shirt was much cleaner than her outerwear. Heedless of the water and the vomit on the floor, Zoe knelt down next to him, very gently placing her hand on his back as he met her eyes. She gave him a small, sad smile and shook her head.

"Oh Levi…" she murmured softly, making her voice as gentle and soothing as she could to help him calm down. Compassion flooded her heart and nearly overwhelmed her. "That's enough, honey," she instructed quietly. "It's time to stop now." She reached around him and gently tugged the scrub brush out of his hand, placing it on the floor behind her where he couldn't reach it.

Levi was sobbing and hyperventilating so hard he was paradoxically almost silent other than the periodic gagging and sharp gasps every time he took a breath. Her hand still on his back, Zoe could physically feel his body shaking, and she could see his muscles tighten as he bent over the drain and threw up again. Very slowly, she began to rub her hand up and down along his spine, getting him accustomed to her touch.

Gasping for breath, Levi braced himself with both arms as he sat up a little. He slowly turned his head to look at Zoe, and the anguish and pain in his eyes broke her heart. She gave him another soft, affectionate smile and gently ran her fingertips across his forehead. "Baby love…" she whispered, using her most intimate pet name for him, "I'm so sorry, Levi…."

Her expression tender and concerned as she searched his eyes, Zoe scooted closer to Levi and very gently wrapped her arms around his raw, trembling little body. She pulled him against her, holding his head on her shoulder as she cradled him against her chest.

Levi remained tense for a moment, but Zoe softly continued to run her fingers up and down his back. "Relax, sweetheart," she whispered. Smiling gently, she then added rather playfully, "It's alright if you're not done throwing up; I don't mind if you puke on me."

Leaning down, she very gently kissed his forehead. With that, Levi melted. Drawing his arms in against his body, he leaned into her and buried his face in her shoulder and sobbed. Zoe wrapped her arms around him more tightly, then gently reached around his back and pulled him all the way onto her lap. Leaning back against the wall of the shower stall, she began very gently rocking him, one arm encircling his body while she tenderly caressed his hair with the other.

Levi continued to sob so hard it shook his whole body; he eventually did start to gag again. Zoe leaned him over her arm, tenderly rubbing his neck and his back until he was done. She then gently held his head against her shoulder again as she softly kissed his head several times. "Levi…I love you so much," she murmured gently, tenderly encircling his body with both arms and resting her cheek against his head. "You're not alone, sweetie."

Tears continued to pour down Levi's face as Zoe held him, but the hard, whole-body sobbing had stopped after the last round of vomiting. Zoe continued to cradle his body against her chest and rock him as she began to softly sing to him. Levi snuggled in closer to her and made an obvious effort to quiet his crying so he could listen; he had never heard her sing before, and it was beautiful. He slowly relaxed into her arms, hardly caring how strange they must look. It was as though time stopped and the outside world completely evaporated. For whatever reason, Zoe had long since knocked down every last one of Levi's defenses and it didn't even feel awkward for her to hold him while he was completely naked. Instead Levi just felt nurtured and protected, and very, very loved.

Zoe held Levi and quietly sang to him until he calmed down and his tears stopped. Drawing in a quivery breath, Levi kept his head against her shoulder but tilted it up just enough to meet her eyes. She gave him a very gentle smile and stroked his cheek with her fingertips.

"Zoe…how do you always know?" Levi asked softly.

She smiled again and shook her head, tightening her arms around him. "I'm not sure, baby," she replied quietly. "When you're hurting….well, I know it sounds cheesy, but it feels like my heart connects to yours and leads me right to you. I don't know why."

Levi lowered his head again, softly resting his head against her shoulder as he just quietly soaked up the comfort of being held. "It doesn't sound cheesy," he finally whispered.

Hange just sat silently rocking him until he had calmed down all the way. Then she leaned down and met his eyes again, giving him an affectionate smile. "Alright sweetie, I know you—you've been really nice about it, but I know I'm still covered in shit and it's made you feel dirty again. Soooo…"

She very gently eased Levi off her lap, then briefly rose to her feet and retrieved two washcloths and soap from the supply shelf. She brought those back and once again knelt in front of Levi as he huddled against the shower wall. "We can get you cleaned up again, but _**I**_ will be doing it for you—with _washcloths_, not a fucking _brush_—or you'll have no skin left on your poor little body."

Levi hung his head and bit his lip, somewhat embarrassed. Hange gave him another gentle, affectionate smile. "Just relax and let me take care of you, Levi," she murmured softly. Levi glanced up and briefly met her eyes. With a sigh, he averted his eyes again and nodded. "Alright," he whispered.

Hange smiled and affectionately squeezed his shoulder. Briefly turning the faucet on again, she got the washcloths wet, then added soap to one while she set the other aside. Taking the soapy cloth in one hand, she very gently washed Levi's arms and legs, touching him as softly as she could to avoid injuring his skin any further. Levi sat in a silent little huddle against the wall, his knees drawn up to his chest; however, he limply complied whenever Zoe extended one of his limbs to wash it. Silent tears slipped down his cheeks as he followed Zoe's movements with his eyes; she was so gentle with him that it was almost overwhelming. They had been close friends for years now, but he never stopped being surprised and deeply touched by how kind she always was to him, despite his typically standoffish persona.

Adding a bit more soap to the washcloth, Zoe placed her hand on Levi's shoulders and gently nudged him forward away from the wall so she could wash his back. Levi let out his breath in a long sigh and wrapped his arms around his knees, resting his head on them and closing his eyes. Zoe smiled affectionately and continued rubbing his back with the washcloth; she did it longer than she had with the rest of his body since she could see that it felt so good to him and since this wasn't an area that he'd already scrubbed to the point of injury. Finally, she retrieved the other wash cloth and repeated the process with his whole body, rinsing this time. She once again ended with his back; she started by using the washcloth and rinsing the soap off, then just began softly stroking her fingertips up and down his spine.

Levi turned his head enough to look over his shoulder and meet her eyes; his own eyes were so sad, but she could see the affection and gratitude in them as well. "Thank you, Zoe," Levi whispered, knitting his brow and searching her face. She smiled gently. "My pleasure, Levi," she said softly.

"Alright honey," she continued quietly, "Erwin wants you to go to his office; shall we get ready and head back?" Levi nodded as Zoe stood up then helped Levi to his feet. She settled him on the bench right outside the shower stall and tenderly wrapped a towel around his shoulders while she grabbed some spare clothes from storage since Levi had not brought any; it was clear this showering detour had been pure, impulsive desperation on his part. She then grabbed a bottle of first aid cream from the supply shelf next to the shower, kneeling down in front of Levi as he sat on the bench. She met his eyes and gave him another soft, affectionate smile before she squeezed some of the lotion into her hands and started very gently rubbing it over all the raw areas on Levi's body. Levi wordlessly watched her; his breath caught in his throat and slow tears slid down his cheeks again at her gentle care for him. She and Erwin showed him a level of love that surpassed anyone he'd known since his mom had died.

Once Zoe finished, Levi got dressed and then the two of them began gathering up their gear and uniforms. However, Levi suddenly paused and set his down again; turning to Zoe and briefly searching her eyes, he abruptly wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "Thank you," he whispered into her ear; after a brief pause, he continued very softly, "I love you."

Hange gave a delighted, soft little squeak and gently squeezed him as she returned his embrace. "Oh Levi….I love you too, my sweet friend." She pulled back enough to look into his eyes, and positively beamed at him. "You're pretty much my favorite person."


End file.
